


I'm Not a Killer

by imaginaryinspiration



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Accusations, Anger, Angst and Feels, Arguing, Dialogue-Only, Gen, sans being mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 04:09:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15380328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginaryinspiration/pseuds/imaginaryinspiration
Summary: Sans believed he was always doing what's right. How does Frisk feel about that?





	I'm Not a Killer

“Why are all humans so bad? Why am I so bad?”

“because you’re a murderer.”

“So that’s how you think about it? That it’s my fault?”

“yes! you’re the killer!”

“Sans, come on! I killed one monster. It was self defense! And it was four years ago! Why can’t you just forget about it?”

“i still can’t forgive you.”

“Sans, I was attacked! I was attacked over and over and over, by every single monster who saw me, and I stopped the fights and made friends with them, yet that wasn’t enough! You think if even lift a finger against any monster I’m an unforgivable sinner. I came into that hall, having killed one monster, and you said that there was no way I did it on accident, there was no way it was self defense. Me killing one monster had to be an act of murder that I wanted to happen. Because all of the monsters are so good, right? All of the monsters are perfect, and they’re all better than me.”

“that doesn’t justify murder. you can’t kill a kind monster out of self defense. you’re screwed up. you murdered.”

“What about me, huh? What about me? I was killed. I was killed over and over and over! But that doesn't matter, right? Because I can come back, it’s okay. It’s okay that I die, because no one remembers. Well I remember! Do you know how it feels to die? I do. I know that particular, horrifying feeling very well. It’s not just the pain, that’s another thing entirely, though still very real. It’s the feeling of knowing that you just died; this is supposed to be the end. I died and I died and I died and nobody remembers and nobody cares. 

Humans are way worse and more dangerous than monsters, because their souls are stronger, right? But I was a child! I was barely 10 years old, and I knew how it felt to die. I was 10 years old, and I had to battle for my life every step of the way. No one deserves that. Having a stronger soul didn’t matter when spears were being hurtled at my head! When fire was thrown at me, it hurt as much as it would hurt anyone else! A strong soul didn’t matter, I don’t have magic! All I had was a stick! A stick in my hand, barely able to hurt anything. And yet monsters still attacked me relentlessly, just for existing. And it’s my fault that I killed one monster because I was trying to protect myself. 

And you! You promised Toriel that you would protect me! You think you’re a saint, because you didn’t kill a small child the second you laid eyes on them. Congratulations! You deserve a medal for not murdering a little kid! But you still stood by. You promised Toriel you would keep me from harm, and yet you watched as I was killed over and over. You can’t feign innocence; I was murdered right in front of you. I was chased by Undyne, and I ran up to you! You were faking being asleep, and I pleaded with you to help me, I screamed in your face, “please help me! I don’t want to die!” But you ignored me. And because of that, I was stabbed through the chest with a spear. I screamed. I screamed in pain, I cried, 3 feet in front of you. You didn’t even acknowledge that I was there. And you still hate me for trying to protect myself because you didn’t!

You took me to dinner. You seemed so happy, I thought it would be fun, even after everything. You told me about how you met Toriel. And then you claimed that I didn’t die, even though you knew I had. You said that the only reason I had survived so far was because of your protection. Where? When? Tell me when you protected me, because I can’t seem to remember a time when you did.

After I left the Underground, I realized that I had the power to reset. I could take back that one time I killed a monster that I regretted so much! Sans, I cried and cried because I took that life in self defense. You think I didn’t care? When I realized I could go back, I started over. I made friends, I died some more, and I helped all the monsters. And then I came to you. I didn’t want to fight Asgore, and I didn’t want to die either!

When you judged me, you said I was clean, and I was! You told me that it was the end. I either die at Asgore’s hands and monsters destroy humanity, but they get to go free, or I kill Asgore and monsters remain Underground forever. You gave me a lose-lose situation, and then you said that you knew I would do the right thing. What did you expect me to do, huh? You didn’t want me to die, but if I killed Asgore you would hate me forever. What was the third option? What did you think I could’ve done?

I wanted to free monsters, but I didn’t want to die. Is that a sin? Is it a sin to want to live, to protect myself? Was it a sin to want to live to my eleventh birthday, to hug my mother again, to feel loved? Is that a sin? I really loved all of you, and I wanted to help. I was forced to fight Asgore, and it went against every fibre of my being to do so. Do you know how it made me feel? You never even asked, or cared! You think I’m some heartless murderer even though I erased that mistake, I never wanted to, and I freed all of you! Is that not enough?

You still think that I am in the wrong here. It’s my fault. You’re the saint, perfect and good. I’m the demon, murderous and sinful.

You know what? Think what you want to think. You can hate me, if you really still believe I deserve it. I just wanted you to know my side of the story. I just wanted you to know that that hate is unjustified and wrong.”


End file.
